What is that supposed to mean?
Well, Greg actually inadvertently hit on something in his post, and it struck me as I was typing my reply.
me said:
I'd rather people walked away happy than soldiered on and ended up hating it through some feeling of obligation.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised that that bloke is me, not anyone else.
The more I pondered it, the more I realised that I wasn't enjoying anything to do with the Caterham League, but I felt obligated to carry on. That in turn was leaching into the Club events, where the discussions were all about "well, hope the league is like that" etc. I ended up not enjoying anything, but kept going thinking it was just me, that it'd be better next time, and because of that perceived obligation again.
I found it harder and harder to go through the efforts of justifying the decisions I'd laboured hard under to try and get exactly right when people treated it like I'd pulled them out of the air. Not the justifications themselves, just the effort of doing it over and over.
I found it harder and harder to keep a dialogue going when I wanted to just say something like "These are the rules. Everyone knew about them going in." Dictatorial stuff like that, I can't stand at any price, but I found myself on the brink of actually saying it.
That's no way to run a League, or enjoy myself (which is the whole, you know...point). The more I considered
not running the League, the happier I felt.
And that
can't be right.
So, basically, I'm done. I'm walking away happy before I get to have bad memories of it.
I can't give this League the effort and enthusiasm it deserves, and I'm not going to do it half arsed, or end up making it a chore.
If someone wants to take it over as a Supported League, be my guest, but I'm done with it.
And, just in case anyone think it might be the case, this
isn't brinksmanship. Doing that over a virtual league driving imaginary cars would quite possibly be the most pompous and assinine thing ever.
If I'm quitting the running of the League, I'd also feel more than hyopcritical to arrogantly assume that I'd be able to keep running the Club events, so I'm done with them as well.
All I can say now is the following:-
- Thanks to those of you who made the Cat events so enjoyable. It was intended to be a simple "couple of weeks" thing. That was nearly a year ago.
- Sorry that this had to come out now, but I'm afraid it's the impending start and the associated blather that forced this realisation on me
- Good luck to whoever takes it over - there's no real fixed timeframe for this, no real League competition on Fridays on the rF server, so if someone does want to take it over, you can always postpone it a few weeks so you can get a handle on it.
Cheers all.