This is sort of a pet topic of mine.
As far as the aesthetic aspect of things, sure the more the better. I think we have near 100% agreement on that. Once the computing power is available, something like BeamNG level damage modeling in a sim would be great. At the same time, I understand the limitations involved in getting there (both in terms of computing power and developer hours).
Before I go into what I think we'll have less than 100% agreement on, let me say that I think a spectrum is good. We have a bunch of sims today with a variety of strengths and weaknesses and, within those sims, we have all sorts of sliders and toggles that allow us to tweak the gameplay to our liking. That should continue on, it's what keeps the hobby strong.
All that said, I think there is room for devs to be much harsher about damage. We have people who demand the highest fidelity physics and tire modeling known to man that will, without a hint of irony, go careening out of the pits on ice cold tires, throw the car headlong into the nearest armco, and reset to pits without a second thought. Sorry, that's way more immersion killing to me than a less-than-perfect tire model and I can't believe I'm alone on that.
I'm only dreaming here, but what if we could make a sim that really tried to replicate the real experience of what it means to operate a race car? Like in iRacing, you could be given a virtual budget that you would have to pay for your repairs, tuning, and rebuilds out of. Once that money is gone, you can't run that car the rest of the season. I guess you better race carefully. It also levels the playing field between the people who have the time/patience to run 15,000,000 practice laps before the race and the people (who I believe constitute the majority of sim racers) who maybe have an hour or two of practice time at most.