For me in the real world of track cars I find adjustable suspension, tyre choice, good reliable braking and sometimes an ecu map far more important than the differential. Sure I want the car to have a good differential(s) but only the cars with electronic systems have ever had the ability to adjust them in my experience.
The endless settings available in sims and racing games is where they differ most from real life track cars for me. Sure the very top of motorsport may have this level of adjustability and teams of engineers to set them up properly, track the data, run the hundreds of laps and simulations required to know if it's faster.
For front wheel drive the VAQ differential on my daily driver Cupra is a good compromise, in comfort mode for road driving the differential effect is mild and unobtrusive. At the highest Cupra setting, paired with Michelin Pilot Sport Cup 2 tyres it'll cling to the apex on track in a way that takes some getting used to. It'll even leave a set of 11's on the tarmac in the tighter corners - crazy for a FWD car. It helps that the damper stiffness can also be adjusted with the diff because they all need to work together to be effective imo. As technology that enables cars to work on the road without being overly harsh and still fun on track it's a decent compromise (anyone who's driven a fidgety Audi RS car on standard dampers will know how annoying that can be). It still in't as good as a specific track car like my Megane R26.R and that has almost no adjustability at all. Superb front suspension setup and diff work together in perfect harmony though, hit the apex and the throttle just pulls the car around.
The centre differential adjustment on the Impreza was fun too, but more of a gimmick than really impacting the performance that much. It was fun to move the power rearwards on an empty, damp Pembrey trackday and slide about for a lap or two. Again adjustable suspension to be able to soften for the bumps or wet conditions on the track made far more difference imo. The Evo 8 MR had no driver adjustment but the active yaw control in that car was incredible, it could make almost anyone look like a driving god.
None of the lightweights Westfield's, Caterhams, Atom etc have - to my knowledge - had any differential adjustment but they all worked superbly. The ability to adjust the ride height and damper stiffness and tyre pressures - manually - is by far the best way to change real car behaviour imo.
So that's my take on differentials froma trackday enthusiasts perspective. It's good to be able to adjust them in games but I don't think it's the height of realism for anything other than the most elite motorsports (even then I believe many racing series prevent this to keep costs down.)