justageezer
Premium
Or not 
In an excess of festive spirit, and on the off-chance that someone might actually like my silly rhymes I thought I'dinflict my latest creations on you share my latest creations on RD.
Can you do better? A Vogon probably could. Do Vogons read RD/Overtake?
Submit your creations or post your reactions in the comments. Hopefully nobody gnawed off their own leg, at least. And if you did gnaw off your own leg, don't come running to me.
***********************************
Power Oversteer
Sitting on the starting grid, concentrating on the lights,
I'm going to nail my launch, and then all the lefts and rights,
I'll stay ahead to the very end, as long as I don't explode -
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
But this time will be different - it's going to be so great,
'Cos all I've really got to do is keep the damn car straight,
While making sure my progress to the end isn't slowed,
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
It's not like I'm new to this, I've done a lap or two,
Treat the throttle gently and the car will stick like glue,
I've put in all the practice, so I should reap what I've sowed,
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
Maybe it's my driving style, I am a big risk taker,
But should that turn an F1 car into a donut maker?
Maybe if I got less hyped and found a calmer mode
I wouldn't paint so many rubber rainbows on the road.
***********************************
Just Simulation
I know it's not real - but I like it. And it's really not 'playing a game'.
I'll spend my free time as I like thanks; you're welcome to do just the same.
Twitching and jerking while strapped in my rig, alone in my virtual world,
Yes I have heard that I look quite absurd, but do I look like I care?
On the edge of my seat'n the balls of my feet, round the wheel my fingers are curled,
As I test the extremes of the car of my dreams I feel like a millionaire. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
From dirt tracks to circuits of all shapes and sizes, and even the odd aerodrome,
I've travelled the world, and seen far-off places, all without leaving my home.
In cars from all ages and classes I've driven, each one has their own charm,
From Lambos to Ladas, some easy, some harder they all can give me a kick.
And despite all the crashes, bashes and smashes I've yet to come to real harm;
Just blisters and aches, the occasional shakes, or feeling a little seasick. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
So yes, it's 'just simulation'. And yes, it's a bit immature.
But this affliction is of my own choosing - I've no interest in finding a cure.
It would be nice if it was a bit cheaper, but really I shouldn't complain;
There's many who'd wish to sup from my dish of life, and have less than I,
They don't get the thrills or even the spills of life in the virtual fast lane,
While I get my kicks and adrenaline fix from an endless virtual supply. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
***********************************
Hello Mellow Brick Road
When am I going to slow down? I really don't think that I can.
I'm glad I'm not back at the farm, And didn't listen to my old man.
This circuit can hold me forever, There's always something to do.
It's like a present I can always open, And I even like the views.
So hello mellow brick road, Where the beasts of the DTM howl.
You can't plant me at Pflantzgarten, no I'll make it all the way home. Yeah,
Home to the Touristenfahrten toll in the road, In the middle of Doettinger Hoehe - oh I've
Finally realised that my future lies, Driving the mellow brick road.
There's a castle up on the hill, And balloons - at least in my game.
Not that I see much scenery, When I'm out on the track again.
There really is no replacement, There's nothing like this that I've found.
Other circuits are pale imitations, Nordschleife is the greatest track around.
[repeat chorus]
(with apologies to Elton John)
In an excess of festive spirit, and on the off-chance that someone might actually like my silly rhymes I thought I'd
Can you do better? A Vogon probably could. Do Vogons read RD/Overtake?
Submit your creations or post your reactions in the comments. Hopefully nobody gnawed off their own leg, at least. And if you did gnaw off your own leg, don't come running to me.
***********************************
Power Oversteer
Sitting on the starting grid, concentrating on the lights,
I'm going to nail my launch, and then all the lefts and rights,
I'll stay ahead to the very end, as long as I don't explode -
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
But this time will be different - it's going to be so great,
'Cos all I've really got to do is keep the damn car straight,
While making sure my progress to the end isn't slowed,
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
It's not like I'm new to this, I've done a lap or two,
Treat the throttle gently and the car will stick like glue,
I've put in all the practice, so I should reap what I've sowed,
Instead I end up painting rubber rainbows on the road.
Maybe it's my driving style, I am a big risk taker,
But should that turn an F1 car into a donut maker?
Maybe if I got less hyped and found a calmer mode
I wouldn't paint so many rubber rainbows on the road.
***********************************
Just Simulation
I know it's not real - but I like it. And it's really not 'playing a game'.
I'll spend my free time as I like thanks; you're welcome to do just the same.
Twitching and jerking while strapped in my rig, alone in my virtual world,
Yes I have heard that I look quite absurd, but do I look like I care?
On the edge of my seat'n the balls of my feet, round the wheel my fingers are curled,
As I test the extremes of the car of my dreams I feel like a millionaire. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
From dirt tracks to circuits of all shapes and sizes, and even the odd aerodrome,
I've travelled the world, and seen far-off places, all without leaving my home.
In cars from all ages and classes I've driven, each one has their own charm,
From Lambos to Ladas, some easy, some harder they all can give me a kick.
And despite all the crashes, bashes and smashes I've yet to come to real harm;
Just blisters and aches, the occasional shakes, or feeling a little seasick. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
So yes, it's 'just simulation'. And yes, it's a bit immature.
But this affliction is of my own choosing - I've no interest in finding a cure.
It would be nice if it was a bit cheaper, but really I shouldn't complain;
There's many who'd wish to sup from my dish of life, and have less than I,
They don't get the thrills or even the spills of life in the virtual fast lane,
While I get my kicks and adrenaline fix from an endless virtual supply. Oh,
I'm a virtual car chaser, I race cars that aren't real! Oh,
I'm a flippin' sim racer, and with it you'll just have to deal!
***********************************
Hello Mellow Brick Road
When am I going to slow down? I really don't think that I can.
I'm glad I'm not back at the farm, And didn't listen to my old man.
This circuit can hold me forever, There's always something to do.
It's like a present I can always open, And I even like the views.
So hello mellow brick road, Where the beasts of the DTM howl.
You can't plant me at Pflantzgarten, no I'll make it all the way home. Yeah,
Home to the Touristenfahrten toll in the road, In the middle of Doettinger Hoehe - oh I've
Finally realised that my future lies, Driving the mellow brick road.
There's a castle up on the hill, And balloons - at least in my game.
Not that I see much scenery, When I'm out on the track again.
There really is no replacement, There's nothing like this that I've found.
Other circuits are pale imitations, Nordschleife is the greatest track around.
[repeat chorus]
(with apologies to Elton John)
